Oh, Karl.

"I think the challenge is to come up with the most important mission, the mission that literally tears these people apart. The mission that is the definitive Trek mission."

Oh. Karl. You're so sexy when you're getting your nerd on. Now go tell the writers what to do. The rest of your fandom will really appreciate it.

(P.S. The way he describes the Kirk-McCoy dynamic makes me weep a little. He so gets what Shatner and Kelley did and the way the characters worked together as friends. I just. I don't even. ;3;)

So I had to make a fictional five list for Girl Talk Thursday (according to tokyoghoststory anyway). It was kinda hard to do, too.

Here, I'll give you a hint.

I need to stop watching this. Over and over.



I totally looked KU up on Facebook after that. Not going to lie. Not that I'd be all weird and friend him if he had one or anything, but yeah. My quickly growing cache of internet porn about him nailing Chris Pine is too easily accessible. And steadily read. And I don't want to end up in Trekkies III: The Re-Trekening as one of those people who send their porno fic to the actors, even if it happens to be particularly well-written porno fic. (Just saying. As the case may be.)

Back to the topic at hand. His accent makes my ovaries go "Wheeee." And nobody makes my ovaries go "Wheee." Stupid sexy bastard.

Also,



Holy shit you guys.

So I didn't get home until 3am and I need to be at work in, uh, a little over an hour. Now I need something to steel myself so that I can get through this day.



Mission accomplished.

In other news, it was totally worth getting to bed at four in the morning. Sitting in a packed theater for a midnight showing of Inglourious Basterds with a bunch of Tarantino fans, with a standing ovation at the end? Priceless.

Also, Karl Urban in the new Priest adaptation, as the evil leader of the bloodsuckers who was once a priest and hunter but now fancies himself a god of vampires? So, um, I kinda hate vampires? But I'm willing to make a concession on this one. Because, well, my ovaries tingle just thinking about it.

So me and tokyoghoststory came up with the summary of my fic.

eonism16: asses will be licked, emotional issues will be confronted!
eonism16: karl urban gonna take it in the butt!
herbloodyremains: HELL YEAH KARL URBAN

Fact: Every day is made better by yelling Karl Urban's name. Especially in relation to buttsex.

Spent the morning catching up at sendhilfans, about the appearance and disappearance of THE BEARD(tm) and what looks to be Sendhil getting pushed back to guest role status on Heroes. I have no comment on the beard, since I seemed to have missed its stay altogether. (BRB, staring at Karl Urban's ass.) However, as I haven't kept up with Heroes, I was unaware that he's being essentially booted off. Last I heard it was just fan speculation, but I guess it was confirmed at SDCC.

I guess this makes me happy though? In the scheme of things, anyway. Seeing my favorite character demoted week after week to Punching Bag + Shitty Plot Device status has killed my interest in the show, which was just the gravy on the already growing list of things that killed my interests. To see him freed from his contractual obligations to the project is good because it lets him pursue other roles. Also, he's going to be on Psych and has I think two films in the works? Whatever. He's going to be fine. I'll miss the weekly dose of pretty on my Monday nights, but it's for the greater good.

(Now if I could just get him and Karl in a room to do one epically shitty movie together, I would die a happy fangirl. He's already done a seriously shitty movie with Chris, so Karl's a mere Kevin Bacon Degree away. Just think about it: Sendhil could be like Really-Hot-Sarcastic-Guy, and Karl could be Really-Hot-Sarcastic-Guy-With-A-Sword. They would have awesomely bad accents and witty banter, and then save the world together. You know you want to see this movie. I don't blame you.)

My mother had her first Karlgasm today.

My mom: Show me a picture of this guy. I want to see how hot he's supposed to be.
Me: *pulls up KARL FOLDER on hard drive*



BAM.

Mom: That's Dr. McCoy?
Me: Yes.
Mom: My god, he's fucking hot.
Me: \o/ *wins*
Mom: I think we should watch Chronicles of Riddick. It might be worth sitting through now.

I'm so proud of her. *teary eye dance*

This is what I do when I'm supposed to be writing.

eonism (10:34:12 PM): it's like karl urban weekend here
eonism (10:34:18 PM): a karlganza, if you will
tokyoghoststory (10:34:52 PM): yes, i like this term
tokyoghoststory (10:34:54 PM): KARLGANZA
eonism (10:35:15 PM): IT'S LIKE A VERITABLE KARLGANZA
tokyoghoststory (10:36:08 PM): i like how this girl did not realize she walked into a gqmf fiesta of karlness
tokyoghoststory (10:36:11 PM): buffet of karlness
eonism (10:36:26 PM): this is an epic moment
tokyoghoststory (10:36:33 PM): nothing will outshine this.
eonism (10:36:52 PM): NOT EVEN THE DYING HEAT OF A THOUSAND STARS
eonism (10:37:05 PM): BECAUSE THE HEAT COMING FROM KARL'S PANTS IS TEN TIMES THAT
tokyoghoststory (10:37:53 PM): HAHAHAAHAH

I'm actually working on a short story right now. Honest.

Things I managed to get done today, much to my surprise:

-Go for a walk.
-Dig out and rework The Octopus' Lover for submission. (lol, old story.)
-Write five pages of new Kirk/McCoy fic. (And yes, there will be licking. See below for more.)
-Run some errands.
-Read some Kafka.
-Watch Chronicles of Riddick.

Let me stop right there. I told myself I wouldn't keep watching Karl Urban movies sober, but I couldn't help myself. I saw the caps and the brooding and the thunder-mullet and I just had to watch it.

I'm sure things happened in the movie. Pretty sure. It involved Vin Diesel walking around in a tank top and like, killing people or something. I just don't remember, because then this happened.





I just. I'm at a loss here. I would've really rather spent the two hours watching Thandie Newton lick Karl Urban, but no such luck. Them being all slinky and evil was probably the highlight of the film, from what I remember.

Must not watch Doom now. Must not watch. As far as I know, he doesn't lick anyone in that movie, so I should be safe.

So. I decided to watch Pathfinder this afternoon. Yeah I know. This is what I learned.

A) If you're trekking through the wilderness, nothing beats a pair of assless chaps and a loin-cloth. They're both comfortable and aerodynamic.

B) Karl Urban can cause avalanches just by having a moment.

C) Karl Urban can survive beatings, stabbings, bludgeonings, drownings, and avalanches. Then walk five miles back to the village to impregnate Moon Bloodgood. You know why? Because he has two wolves fighting his heart: Love and Hate. And guess which one he fed the most? Oh yeah.

D) Karl Urban can be the lost son of a Viking clan if he wants to. Pay no attention to his rich tan, dark hair and hazel eyes. Ain't no shame in these manly Anglo features.

E) Karl Urban can go sliding down a snowy mountain top on a shield in a loin-cloth and not get cold. And then walk five miles, have a near-death experience, nearly get eaten by a bear, and nail Moon Bloodgood.

F) Karl Urban makes having sex in caves look romantic, damnit. He's doing it for the ladies. You just want to gaze adoringly into his eyes and never let go, even as he goes to town on you against a rock. Then he's going to lick your face, and you're going to be like "Yes, this is how I want my life to be from now on." Goddamn.

Clancy Brown was in it too. Which makes me kind of lol, because I can't get over the MR. KRABS VOICE, oh my god. You're a bad bad man, Mr. Krabs. You and your Viking hordes.